Sunday, June 20, 2004 8:13 AM
Dear Journal,
the day since i got to know that i won't be able to attend my annual band camp until now,i have never felt more depressed. It seemed that everyday of my holidays were spent in a prison. Although i am grounded,my schedule was packed with tuition after another and piles of homework EDXCLUDING school holiday homework. I feel terribly miserable nowadays and desperately need a good chit-chat with someone who is good in couselling as i have tons of other problems and sure will be very sick at this rate. My cold still have not recovered yet but to make it worse,it is starting to get worst.Although i have spent most of the days at home,holidays still seem shorter than ever. Or shall i say life is getting shorter? I hate it when friends tell me about how great their holidays were....i know it is selfish but they really can't blame me.....Being GROUNDED during holidays is the worst thing you can ever experience....Believe me...and without he usual quantity of exercise,i am getting lazier and fatter although i am already fat enough. But right now, i am most depressed over tml's camp which is attended by practically everyone from the band. The fact that Edwin wasn't going made me more depressed that i can't go.i am gona miss alot of stuffs like FUN, practice and friends. Furthermore,camping is one of my favourite activities throughout the year but band camp is usually my favourite as band is a activity that i have put in so much devotion,work and time which i have never really did until i stepped into Whitley....Practically to me, band has become an part and parcle of life and fate is going against me....But in the end it is still MY fault that i cant attend this camp...no body else can take the balame with me.....i am a total failure....pathetic...aren't i??? HaiZ~....Sigh~...At least i still have you and if my computer screw up, that will make it the best to make me the most pathetic guy on the surface of this earth....Fortunately,i have caring seniors who consoled me all night who was obviously from band or from alumni....i really appreciate it and i really don't know how to thank you in words...i guess i am a burden to everyone afterall....i am awfully sorry for making you guys worried over me (which i doubt anyone will be worried about me) Right now, i feel terrible and i hope anything,anyone can brighten up my life before i might do something really stupid....i'm so damn stressed,worried and depressed which is the three worst combination of emotion i could every get....This is my worst holiday ever....i hate JUNE holidays!!!
Luckily my dad just bought me a new watch which did made me happier but the guilt of missing tomorrow's camo will never disapear as long as i live........my life is so miserable.....i desperately need help...please...ANYONE!!! Come to think of it,i actually deserve all this.....this is my RETRIBUTION...........
P.S: To all of my beloved band members....wish you guys aLL the bESt and hope you have fun without me....practice hard,have enough rest and have fun to tell me all about it....and to juniors,practice hard but don't overwork yourselves.....Your first festpiel is due in 25 days....get all your fingerings and scales right....that's all i need to say....and lastly, i will really miss you guys!!! Band rox!! i mean....Whitley concert band rox!!!...yeah...=]
Thursday, June 17, 2004 8:20 AM
feeling much better today.....hoping to recover by Sunday.....As days pass by,i feel more demoralized for somewhat reason but i really need somebody to have a nice long talk with me if it will help....my fears of not being able to play in the concert grows as the day of the concert draw closer....had tuition in the morning today....3 hours....it is so tiring...after that,i went to band....the first thing that happened to me when i stepped inside the band room was my bad got stuck in Mr tay's chair and everyone was like laughing at me like mad....i felt kinda embarassed...i am simply a walking disaster....Well, Edwin was not there and it explained why it seemed so quiet today...haha...Mr Tay went through the concert pieces...First half would definately be very tiring.....finally we played the pirates of the carabia...It was simply marvelleous....so nice!! I didn't notice the music when i watched the movie with my cousins back at Korea.....Seems like i am falling in love with music these days....just can't help it....after band went for science tuition....then finished at 9...reached home at 10....bathed then chatted & chatted....Shall end my entry here for today....hope more adventrous and exciting things will be waiting for me the next day....Peace!! =]
P.S [those who want the festpiel tickets,please contact me a.s.a.p!! It won't last long! 1st come 1st served!!]
-SuNg HuN- =]
Monday, June 14, 2004 8:55 PM
I am SICK man!!! Fever + cough + headache + runny nose + sore throat = Flu + Cold [stupid formula] i am losing my voice already....have been in bed for the whole Sunday and had a good rest yesterday but no improvement....it have been quite some time since i was sick....maybe half a year or so??? i hope i will get well soon....so that i can waTch matches of Euro 2004 in peace....Still got loads of homeworks to do....most importantly, still GROUNDED....Band camp is coming and i am so looking forward to go but i just can't....i don't even know whether i can play for Festpiel or not....Haix...my stupidness cause my downfall and misfortune...who else can i blame besides myself???
Tuesday, June 01, 2004 8:11 PM